Monday, August 4, 2008

August, left. And never came back...

August is the not the month to travel, once you leave you can’t come back home. My grandmother use to say. Don’t know the story quite well, but I guess it was about some saint who made a long trip but never came back… or something else. But I was never allowed to make flight tickets for mom on the 1st of august. I was never allowed to make travel plans for myself in the month of August. Whatever goes in august never comes back. As a child I used to wonder, what exactly happens to the people who never come back. Where do they go?
Some space between life and death? Some place which is beyond the understanding of the logical mind. I found it very intriguing then.

This august i wanted to get rid of something in me.

Which is that one thing in me I want to go and never want it to come back?

I let it go… I let it go…

This august, I let go of my ego....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Me and Bhavaspandana

It been almost a month now that i am back from Isha yoga centre. Still when i sit for my shoonya meditaiton, as i close my eyes i actually have the same feeling when i used to sit in the spandan hall, with reverbs of people talking softly, the reverbs of almost 200 people breathing, sometimes a cry from the throat, comfortably coming out of mere good practices, the hymns, the smell of the agarbatti, the soft noises of the footsteps.... and sometimes i even feel someone coming close to me and whisperng in my ears, "15 mins is over".I cant reason this fact at times why i feel that i have left my home, and how immensely i am missing my home. The food, the ground below my feet, the air that touched my face are all so comforting as if they belong to me and i belong to them. I look at people, i feel so much love for them. At times i feel like going and giving a tight hug and look at them peacefully with love. But i know if i do this to vaishali she might think i have gone mad.
I have heard ... Priorities changes... Yes, for me i can say... my way of looking at life has changed. I have become ok with everything, everyone, every place, every situation. If there is the minimal availability of needs, i can live my life. I have to earn my bread and clothes.Being ok within myself, being ok with the inner self, being ok with the world. But it doesnt mean that i wont react to something which is causing trouble to my friends or family.I respect others and i am ok if they dont respect me but im not ok if they disrespect me.I think goodness or wisdom is something which comes from practice. The understanding has to come from within but the practice keeps a human being rooted.well, whatever my understanding of life is, after Bhavaspandana, i am having a great time.I am at the top of the world. I always wished for a life without complications, actually complications are all in the head. I wish everyone in this world, every person i look around myself should be living a life like this. Should be having a great time like me.... Thank you Sadhguru.